MY KITTY CAT IS BRAT?

I went way downtown, and got me a pretty kitty cat,

Kitty cats are very popular, some would say they're brat,

At the kitty store,

I bought my cat, Thor,

Thor was so happy, because I bought him a kitty hat.

I RAN FOR OFFICE AND WON

I was on the down ballot, on the down ballot way down deep,

Running for the coveted office, listed as County Creep,

Unopposed was I,

But we had a tie,

A coin toss made me #1, #2 became my Veep.

4524

THE FAMILY COMES TOGETHER TO SHARE THEIR LOVE AND A MEAL🎄❄❄❄❄❄🎄

Every holiday it's not surprising,🙄

With all the family tensions rising,😡

After all our nasties are said,🙊

We sit down and break bread,🍞

Afterwards, we continue despising.🍷🍸🍹🍺

I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT

I went to see the King of Pudding, and the King first had me jailed,

Because I did not like his puddings, the King next had me impaled, 

I appealed to his big boss,

She was the Queen of Mustard Sauce,

But before the Queen could act, all my internal organs failed.

BIG UGLY DUMB GATOR TOOK MY BOOKS

Big Ugly Gator took my books, and burned them all,

Gator burned my coloring books, that made me bawl,

He then gave me a book,

On how pork, I should cook,

Big Ugly Dumb Gator has some real nasty gall.

THE GOVERNMENT IS TAKING MY SLEEP AWAY

The authorities are demanding, I give up one hour of sleep,

But I'm thinking, that maybe, that sleep I should keep,

Daylight Savings Time,

Is a humanitarian crime,

Those who agree, honk your horn and go "Beep!"

DIM TROLL SPITS

There was a troll who trolled on Twitter,

He lost an election and became real bitter,

His only employment was house sitter,

Couldn't get hired, for he's a dimwiter,

Went to jail, as a sidewalk spitter.

I Have Election Day Troll Blues

There were so many election day trolls,

Who have nefarious goals,

Many come from overseas,

Offering nude body sleaze,

And, tell fibs about voting at polls.

WEED AND BOOKS LOST BECAUSE OF LOOKS

Because he did not like my looks,

Florida's Gov. took away my books,

He confiscated my weed,

I have nothing to read,

The Gov. and his lackeys are snooks .