NO TOCK, SO I BACH

I went today to see my heart specialist doc,

He said my heart had a tick, but seldom a tock, 

It made me both sad and happy,

I would soon see my dead pappy,

Soon dad's fiddle I'll hear playing, Johan S. Bach.

RASH AND HASH

Poor, crazy Jimmy spent a ton of cash,

To get rid of a contagious, rare rash,

It started on his toes,

Went up to his nose,

It went to his brain, and turned it to hash.

P.S.

Poor Jimmy

Aliens Strike Again👾

STICKY BOY, BILLY

Billy applied his sticky salve and creams,

So Billy could sleep sound, and have nice dreams,

Or else he'd itch,

Toss and twitch,

And have nightmares of eating salad greens.

JIM GAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND KISSES AND HUGS

Jim gave his girlfriend kisses and hugs,

She claims Jim gave her ringworm and bugs,

So, who to believe?

Did either deceive?

Or, were the beasties in the blankets and rugs.

BOB PLAYED WITH SKUNKS, A CAUTIONARY TALE

Bob went to Newberry to see his cousin's skunk babies,

They were cute little stinkers, but they gave Bob the scabies,

Mange in his underwear,

And, a cute skunk called Pierre,

Bit Bob on the bum;  Bob needed shots for the rabies. 

There's Always Something Out To Get Me

I had a mosquito contact,

It gave me a a malaria contract,

Felt very sick,

Went to hospital, real quick,

Malaria is spreading, fun fact? Not!

DON'T EAT YOUR SWEETIES FEETIES

I once knew this scientist named Pete,

The only thing he studied was feet,

He said what lurked among us,

Was a terminal foot fungus,

And toe jam was not fit to eat

SPRING

Cold rainy weather makes us feel pain called, the cruds,

The arthritis pain, we fight with the suds,

We want mosquitos to bite,

To take our minds off our plight

While spring blooms bust out of their buds.

While Fungal Harvesting, Watch Out For Your Shoes

Whilst I cleaned fungus, from between my toes, at Lou's,

An alien from mars, stole my brand new blue/pink shoes,

That Martian, done a real bad,

I squeezed him hard, he got sad,

Now he's just a puddle of runny Martian ooze. 

THE DOG POX DARE

When I lie I get an ache in my tooth,

But I can't stand to tell ma the truth,

It wasn't a foul fox,

That gave my brother the pox,

It was when he kissed my dog Hermes, on a dare.💋🐶

A WITCH TURNED ME

A witch turned me into a turtle, not nice,

I did nothing to him, except the crab lice,

But I'm not to blame,

For his scratches of shame,

I got them from my friends, the mice.

I WENT TO GRAMMY'S FOR DINNER AND A PLAGUE

I went to Grammy's and got plague up my nose,

I got covered with plague from my hairs to my toes

I hope one fine day,

The plague goes away,

Right now I'm doing the throes. 

JOHNNY IS DONE ITCHING HIS WORMS

Johnny got intestinal worms,

They caused itching and gave Johnny the squirms,

He drank hot sauce for medication,

Destroyed the worm confederation,

Johnny's cured, his not itching confirms.