I GET PAID IN FREE COUPONS

My employer pays in percent off pizza coupons, he gets for free,

I wish I had some real money, so a pizza I could one day see,

Now the toilet has a clog,

Coupons, make a solid slog,

I work for coupon toilet paper, the kids can't flush out to sea.

SQUEAKY SQUIRES THRIFTY STORES

Squeaky Squires put a chip in my brain,

So I could cashier at his store up in Maine,

We sell veggies by weights,

Expired goods with old dates,

I'll be your checkout if you use the fast lane.

SANTA DOES NOT LIKE TO SHARE WITH ELVES

While old Santa eats roast venison, we elves are eating snow,

Santa licks on candy canes; a taste we elves will never know,

Santa is all grins and smiles,

Santa has smart PR wiles,

Old Santa is very greedy, and he causes elves great woe.

CYRUS

Cyrus was the master of training productive pigs,

Cyrus trained pigs to replace people, driving big rigs,

Cyrus made enough money,

To marry his honey,

Cyrus now lives a life without good porn, booze or cigs.

82523

SANTA WHO DRIVES THE SLEIGH, HAS A PRINCETON MBA

Santa made reindeer jerky, after he stored away the sleigh,

Santa made plenty of jerky, enough to feed the elves until May,

Santa made reindeer stew,

With the veggies he grew,

Using retired reindeer, so pension payments went away.

WAITING FOR MY TRICKLE-DOWN

I'm waiting for my trickle-down raise,

Although, my boss says a raise would be out of phase,

For long, long before,

I'll get pink-slipped out the door,

Because trickle-down signs the end of my days.