UNCLE JOE'S RETREAT

Poor, old Uncle Joe could never find romance,

Joe became an expatriate, to South France,

All the day long,

He'd hum his song,

At night there was karaoke, before the dance.

WOODSTOVE MELTED PLASTIC FAN, AND MY SHACK BURNED.

My fan got hot and caught on fire,

It was atop my woodstove, which caused the dire,

My melted, plastic fan,

Made great flames and I ran,

My shack was nearly all paid off, now I can't retire.

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THE OLD DUCKS THAT FLY AND FLEW

The old ducks they fly, and the old ducks they flew,

My old folks went south, for fresh cornbread and stew,

They summer in the north,

May 1st thru July Fourth,

When the crackers stop, they're off into the blue.🛩

TOOKEY TELLS ALL

There once was a mouse named Tookey,

She stole while no one would lookey,

She once stole a hair dryer,

And, an outdoor turkey fryer,

She retired to write a mouse self-help bookey.

JIMMY'S SONG

Jimmy's toe jams smelled,

He drank beer and his belly swelled,

He retired to teach,

At the beach,

Sea turtles, how to mind meld.

I MAKE A NICE HOME

I thought the car weight the ice could take,

When I drove my pickup out on the lake,

I instantly froze, 

When under I goes,

Now my bones are a home to two bass and a snake.

SANTA WHO DRIVES THE SLEIGH, HAS A PRINCETON MBA

Santa made reindeer jerky, after he stored away the sleigh,

Santa made plenty of jerky, enough to feed the elves until May,

Santa made reindeer stew,

With the veggies he grew,

Using retired reindeer, so pension payments went away.

THE CHICKEN COUP RETIREMENT FUND

I have a chicken coup full of trash bags, full of cans,

It's my retirement, and I have really big plans,

Down at the town called Old Hollars,

I'll convert them to a fist full of dollars,

Then I'll buy me a new set of pans.