I WENT SALMON FISHING ONE MORNING LIMERICK

I went salmon fishing one morning,
A big fish bit without warning,
He struck with such wrath,
I fell in for a bath,
Now salmon fishing, I'm scorning.

5121

FISHING WITH A DINGY

I rowed my dingy out onto the bay,
I hoped to catch fish from dusk until day,
But, just after dark,
Along came a shark,
Now in the shark’s belly I lay.

I took out my dingy to fish for crappies,
But, I ran into turtles that I call snappies,
They snapped my dingy in two,
I was on their menu,
My demise gave the snappies the happies.

52322

LITTLE FISH UNDER MY DOCK

Little fish playing under my dock,
With a hook and a worm you'll make my lunch rock,
I know you can see,
The worm luring thee,
Come grab it and I'll clean your fish clock!

I WENT FISHING OUT ON A LAKE MICHIGAN REEF-LIMERICK

I went fishing out on a Lake Michigan Reef,
All I caught was a side of roast beef,
I then caught a fresh ham,
And, a large can of Spam,
The fish that day suffered no grief.

I JUST WANTED TO UNLOAD MY FISH CATCH AT THE QUAY

I wanted to unload my fish catch up at the quay,
But the harbor master said I should stay far away,
He said my fish were stinking up the town,
My boat should be sunk down,
And that’s where my fish catch should stay.

THE DESPERATELY HUNGRY FISHERMAN LIMERICK

Carl went fishing and stepped on a hook,
It hurt really bad and he didn't want to look,
He had caught his big toe,
And, Carl didn't know,
If he had a toe recipe in his cook book.
 

MY BELLY AILS FROM FISH BONES AND SCALES

I went ice fishing and caught 3 tiny fish,

I was hungry so I made a Pattie dish,

I left in the bones and on the scales,

The Pattie gave my belly ails,

I should have stayed home, that's what I wish.

GRANNY LIKED TO CATCH FISH OUT OF SEASON LIMERICK

Granny liked to catch fish out of season,
She liked to eat them that was her reason,
She caught bass and brown trout,
And any others about,
She ate fresh fish but most were for freezen.

I TOOK MY DINGY TO NORTHPORT

I took my dingy to Northport to fish for the day,
But,a big speed boat was right in the way,
I asked if I could pass,
As they poured Champaign in their glass,
They then swamped me as they sped away.

ODE TO THE HAIRY TUNA

There is a hairy tuna,
He swims out in the sea,
Where the hairy tuna swims,
Is where hairy tuna be,

The hairy tuna eats small fish,
He eats them night and day,
When small fish see him coming,
They'd best swim fast away,

The hairy tuna swims real fast,
No net or line he fears,
If you dream of catching him,
Your dreams will turn to tears,

The hairy tuna will soon retire,
To the Caribbean Sea,
To see if children he can sire,
As hairy and fast as he.

CEDAR SWAMP BROOK TROUT LIMERICK

Today I decided to lounge all about,
And go fishing for some little bitty brook trout,
I took my pick,
From a cedar swamp crick,
Tasting piney; I washed them down with stout.

FISHIN' FOR MALNUTRITION

I decided to go ice fishin',
For dinner I was wishin',
A crawdad cut my line,
So, on my bait he could dine,
For my dinner, I'll have malnutrition.
 

HENRY'S RUBBER CRAWLERS

Henry went fishing with his rubber crawlers,
They work really well behind fishing traulers,
Just tie on the harness for the worm,
Watch him wiggle and squirm,
Some worms are just natural brawlers.

UNCLE JOE HAUNTS: A LIMERICK

Uncle Joe went fishing with a knife,
He missed the fish and ended his own life,
Now he haunts in the water,
In the guise of an otter,
With his otter children and wife.

THE PROBLEM WITH STEVE LIMERICK

The problem with Steve is he didn't have a plan,
When he went out ice fishing way out on Lake Ann,
So, oh what a bummer,
The season was summer,
He couldn't swim a stroke so he ran.

EVIL BANKERS

I went to my banker when I lost all my money,
He said that in his world everything looked real sunny,
He said with regret,
He had more to beget,
From stupid people he thought were so funny.