MR. MARTIN HAD NO TICKER

Mr. Martin had no ticker,
His doctors wondered why, he was not sicker,
Martin swam in the bay,
Ate smoked bacon all day,
At night he drank beer and would bicker.

PSYCHOSIS AND POST-NASAL DRIP IN HAMSTERS

Harlan the hamster had post-nasal drip,
It embarrassed him so, his mind started to slip,
He thought he was a Procter,
And, a university doctor,
But, the students greeted him with a flip.

HOPING FOR AN OINTMENT

My rubber gloves didn't keep the promise of a seal,
After cleaning toilets with chemicals my skin started to peel,
So, to the doctor I go,
With peeled hands for the show,
Hoping for an ointment that will heal.