I'M A SCHOLAR WITH A DOLLAR AND BUGS

I felt rich when I found in my wallet, a dollar,

I felt smart when I read me a book, a scholar,

I still felt so defeated,

When everyone tweeted,

That like a dog, I needed an tick and flea collar.

INFESTATION WITH DIGNITY

I sued for peace the mean, itchy, hungry head lice,

My last offer gave to them, a real good entice,

So that I can get some sleep,

And my crap job I can keep,

They'll eat my scalp all day, at night they must be nice.

VAMPIRES CELEBRATE THE FOURTH WITH PIE

At every fireworks display on the  4th Of July,

Vampires rain down on tourists, from out of the sky,

The tourists are alarmed,

But not seriously harmed,

The vampires just need blood, for gram cracker crust pie.