INVASION OF THE NOSE COOTIES

Jimmy was invaded by cooties; they ran up his big nose,

Some cooties dripped out in ice-snot, when the temperatures froze,

Jimmy said a little later,

He was a nose cootie hater,

That was after the doc flushed the nose cooties, out with a hose.

THE CHURCH MOUSE ATTACK

The mouse fell from the church ceiling onto my back,

It squeaked really loud, and gave a big heart attack,

I got whisked straight away,

For a hospital stay,

Although, funds and health insurance, I sadly lack.

I ITCHED WHERE THEY STICHED

I went to.the doctor's office to have them take out stiches,

It cost me every coin I got, I cleaned out my britches,

They covered my wound with a patch,

Said it was infected, don't scratch,

I said I had to scratch and scratch, because the dang thing itches.

FREDDY BROKE A LITTLE BONE

Poor Freddy broke his little bone, down in his little knee,

And he could not get it fixed, he couldn't pay the doctor's fee,

Freddy went to bed,

With a headache in his head,

For if his bone didn't get fixed, he'd become an amputee. 

TEETH YANKERS: A FAMILY BUSINESS SUCCESS STORY

I bought me some pliers and set up a fair booth,

I was charging $20 to yank out a tooth,

If you pay $60 for three,

The fourth pulled is free,

If your kid needs one pulled, see my 12 year old, Ruth.

ONE PERSON'S TOILET IS ANOTHER PERSONS...

Ed didn't know there were so many peasants, until Ed took a leak,

Ed found a hundred peasants, swimming in the public pee-in creek,

It was no surprise,

They had infected eyes,

They also had runny blisters, but care they lacked the funds to seek.

CLIFF FALLING, NOT AS SAFE AS IT LOOKS

I fell off a cliff and broke many a good bone,

Didn't hurt while I fell, that changed when I hit stone,

My mind conjured a thread,

With pics of me dead,

I woke up all stapled, and bolted, and sewn.

Oh Crap, A Dirt Nap

Pining for a new companion,

Overseas I took a fly,

Rammed a mountain; fell into a canyon,

No one but I, didn't burn and die,

Hugs I had upon my rescue,

Universal healthcare had not I,

Beneath the dirt I now feed red fescue,

Rules:  I had no healthcare so, I die.