I AM A SAVED SODA POONTOON

I was out in my aluminum boat,

I drank sodas that made my belly bloat,

Then up-chucked the sea,

Swamping my boat and me,

Soda gas kept my body afloat.

SHE BE MY DINOSAUR

My dinosaur, she ran away,

To the park, where she could play,

She drank some pond water,

Sat on the teeter-totter,

Then slid down the slide; rest of day.

I RENTED A COTTAGE

At 5'8" I hit my head on the stoop,

Then, I just started to recoup,

At a weight of pounds 144,

I fell through the bad floor,

And, went swimming in a basement full of poop.