NEVER COMFORT A HURT GATOR

I stopped my pickup to see about giving a gator, aid,

He was gimping down the highway, near the old pinball arcade,

I asked him, "you're dragging your foot,

Did y'all catch it on a root?

The gator gobbled me down; that's how my kindness was repaid.

VAMPIRE BITES

After I received a vampire bite,

Then I turned a real white, white,

My hope did a sag,

When I got my toe tag,

And got shoved in a freezer, real tight.