HAIR EVERYWHERE

My best bro was as furry as a big grisly bear,

And, twice everyday, he would shave off all his hair,

The need for furry care,

My bro, thought was unfair,

With some wax and some duct tape, he showed he had a pair.

BAD ECONOMY, CHEAP RENT AND THE NUTTER

The economy is in the sewer, not the gutter,

I sold all my golf clubs, including my office putter,

To have rent that's nearly free,

I moved in with Uncle Lee,

He is crazy; the exact definition of "nutter".

COFFEE PRICES ARE ROCKETING TO MARS🚀

I went to the grocery store to buy coffee to drink,

When I saw the new coffee pricing, my heart did a sink,

I sold my plasma and blood,

To afford my coffee, mud,

Before my next buy, I'll be selling my plumbing and sink.

COLD

It got so extremely cold, my collie dog could not make a bark,

It got so cold, my electric car battery, died in the dark,

My plastic, bottled tea,

Froze, and the tea burst free,

I laid down on my warm bed, and on my heating pad, I did park.

MY FLOWERS DIED, THANKS SIS!

My new potable flowers came in the mail,

I planted them deep, on my walk, in a pail,

They were lots of pretty,

Prettied my trashy city,

Then sister peed on them, to empty out ale.

FELT BAD, FELT BETTER, FELT WORSE

My rent had fallen into arrears,

My landlord chastised me into tears,

I drank a cold pop,

And played some hip-hop,

Then got evicted, and thrown out on my ears.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR TIC TOCS AT?

I had no dollars in my pocket,

So I couldn't buy a bottle rocket,

So to feel more fine,

I expressed online,

To the world, I did Tic Toc it.

MY PET GUPPY GOES TO HEAVEN

Bills are up, cash flow is down,

I skip my sup, don't go to town,

And I'm thinking,

This is stinking,

I ate pet gup, poor makes me frown.

CHEWY CHEWY CLANG CLANG

The months in Michigan before May,

I charge my battery all day,

Between the mice and the rats,

The skunks and the bats,

My wires are chewed to a fray. 

THE REINDEER POOP-SHACK POEM

My shack is ugly, and it smells like a reindeer took a poop,

It appears the reindeer left it, atop of my stoop,

I lit three candles to burn off the stink,

I washed the dishes, stacked up in the sink,

I took a break outside, danced with my hula hoop,

Should have stayed in town in that home with the group. 

THE PRICE OF HAIR SPRAY

The price of hair spray has gone up, up, up,

I'll soon have to choose between my hair spray or sup,

I private teach music horns,

My low income me morns,

I'm eating only some soup in a cup.

THE PORCELAIN AND RON'S ALMOND NUTS

Ron wanted some peanuts to eat on today,

But, a bag full of almonds sat in the way

So, on the almonds Ron did feast,

Till Ron gassed up like a beast,

Then, the porcelain in the bathroom had to pay.