SNOW REMOVAL, NOT

My old snowblower went on the fritz,

All its parts blew out in little bits,

When my blower wouldn't blow,

I shoveled the darn snow,

I shoveled a few feet, then I quits.

PORCH PIRATE MILLIONAIRES

Porch pirates have snuck up to my porch, backdoor,

They stole packages, my puppy, and porch floor,

If they think they can deal,

There's nothing they won't steal,

Porch pirates get rich, and I am getting poor.

TREE

                              LCB

I eat my crumpets, sip my tea,

From my kitchen, I can see,

I have a beautiful pine tree,

It's free spirit makes me feel free,

I'll make a swing, then I'll go "Wee!"😁

THE FRAMING OF THE SHREW

I painted a picture of a little tiny shrew,

I did not have a frame, so that day I had to rue,

So, I built a frame myself,

Used the wood from an old shelf,

I still couldn't hang the picture, because I had no screw.

WHEN THE LAVA CAME FOR ME

I have a volcanic eruption in my yard, 

It's burns my tomato plants, and fries my Swiss chard,

Oh, oh, no, woe is me,

I'm drinking lava tea,

My gut will surely ache, when the lava cools hard.

THE UNLIKABLE TREE

There was this unlikable tree,

Upon which, even dogs would not pee,

It had no bug guest,

Nor a birdie nest,

With my ax, I made it root free.

THE SHARKS I CAN LIVE WITH

My swimming pool is all full of sharks,

One snapped at my dog, now my dog bark, bark, barks,

The family disappeared,

I found it quiet and weird,

But I got the house to myself from the dawns through the darks.

STING, SUPER CUTS AND GUTS

Tinker was a little nuts,

He ate only hornet guts,

They made is mouth sting,

And that was his thing,

Along with giving his lawn super cuts.