ANN TEEKING

Ann Teek, divorced her mean, cheating spouse,

Used her settlement, to buy a house,

She was close to the city,

Got dates; she was quite pretty

Couldn't keep a man; she squeaked like a mouse.

GERTY GETS DIRTY AND DIGS HER HOLES

My dog Gerty likes to dig a big hole,

Hunting for the vicious, underground mole,

She plays at catch and release,

Leaves the dirt diggers in peace,

Gerty gets dirty, but has a good soul.

TOBACCO INSPIRED

Harry liked to target the lunchroom spittoon,

He chewed tobacco when he took lunch at noon,

He hit the toon hole every time,

He inspired this amazing rhyme,

Add music, and we'd have a new tune to croon.  .

LEE'S LINCOLN LOGS

I found some big logs left by my neighbor, Lee Lincoln,

He piled them a week ago, now they are stinkin',

It is not a real surprise,

He who touches the logs, dies,

If you get close to the logs, your eyes will start blinkin'.

BEN DOES THE SNOW

Ben's driveway was covered with snow,

Ben decided to give it a blow,

Ben is just a big slob,

He did one sloppy job,

Then he cleaned off the ice with a hoe.

MY FAMILY MAKES ME SO SICK I WON'T EAT

Jerry the rabbit is always picking his big nose,

He picks and he picks, until the red blood freely flows,

He does it at the dinner table,

It makes my appetite, disable,

And, my pet monkey Trish, eats the jams between her toes.

TOO HOT TO BLOW NOSE

The sun got so volcano-like, darn hot 

Donny could not make any human, darn snot,

Without the nose cleaner,

His hay fever got meaner,

The only moisture was in Donny's pee pot.

THE RAW TRAVELIER

George needed to get his self some chaw,

So he traveled down to old Saginaw,

When George got off the Bus,

The police made a fuss,

For George traveled entirely raw.

WHAT'S IN A NOSE

There was a little guinea pig, and he always picked his nose,

Then one day he found out, just what up his nose could grows,

A pickle, squash and okra, and a big tomato vine,

A hot Hungarian pepper, and a bottle of red wine,

The guinea was inspired, so he set his nose to prose.