BACKSEAT BABY DELIVERY ON WHEELS

My sister had a baby in the back of a self-driving, rental car,

I am telling you right now, this story you will find, is really bizarre,

Sis and baby boy are fine,

But, my sister did a whine,

She was charged by the car rental company, at delivery room par.

BIG BUCK, SON OF THE DEER HUNTER

In my previous life, I was a big, buck deer,

I would run through the big, spruce forest, full of fear,

A hunter shot me,

And, food I did be,

Now, I'm the Hunter's son, and deer season is near.

MY BABY TURNED MEAN

On my head I have a big bobo,

Caused by my kid, who is only two,

He's violent toward me,

He will not let me be,

He mean hits me with his hard shoe.

THE BIRTHDAY THAT WAS NOT, FUN

Today, I lived through my 5th birthday, and no one brought me a cake,

No one brought me chicken, either to fry, or toast, or oven bake,

Can't I get an exciting toy,

The hula hoop, was so plain, soy,

I'll only get a few birthdays, before my aging bones all break.

MY KID THE CHEF, NOT

I thought I was eating some really fine, stringy noodles,

Turns out, I was slurping the hairs of my little poodles,

I didn't have a hunch,

My kid made my lunch,

I should have opted for two blueberry, toaster strudels.

THE BABY HERMIT IN THE TREE

I am a baby hermit, and I have climbed up into a tree,

Ma and pa and sis and bro, have been looking all around for me,

When one walks under my feet,

I do a bird tweet, tweet, tweet,

They never bother to look up, so baby hermit, they don't see.

A CANDY BASKET FIT FOR KINGS AND QUEENS

I got a basket full of chocolate eggs, marshmallow peeps and jelly beans,

I've never seen so much candy, it was like a basket for kings and queens,

It came from a nice bunny,

I think his name was Sonny,

He was wearing big bib overhauls, because he was way too fat for jeans.

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WHEN DADDY AND MOMMY ARE KISSY KISSING

They were spooning, making out, first basing,

Out in public and, it was disgracing,

It was my mum and dad,

And, they were making me mad,

Their lovy-dove, for my street cred, was defacing.