THE RED PLANET FROZEN BARS

So, methinks I was headed up to Mars,

But my spaceship fell back down and crushed cars,

I got a lawsuit,

From each crushed toot, toot,

Now I deliver to stores ice cream bars.

THE ITSY BITSY SPIDERS, GOT WASHED AWAY

Oh, the massively big momma spider, cried,

Because all of her cute babies, drowned and died,

They all washed far away,

Got buried under clay,

Momma trusted the weatherman, but he lied.

THE HILL OF THE BIG, BAD BOULDER

The enormous, big, bad boulder, came rolling down the hill,

It took out my camper, it was a total camper kill,

I had not any place to stay,

Slept in my sleep bag on hard clay,

I was in both grief and pain, but had no aspirin pill.

THE TRAPEZOID.

I was watching a big meteor flying at us from the sky,

It was quite apparent that soon it would hit us, and we would die,

Then a bright spaceship appeared,

It was trapezoid, so weird,

The spaceship laser-beamed the meteor, it blew apart, oh my!

PIE SAFE SAFTY

There was a great river that fell from the sky,

It crashed on my trailer, and I thought I'd die,

My trailer has leaks,

It's full of antiques,

To great grandma's old pie safe, I said "goodbye".

DOWN RIVER TO THE STUD

My roommate left the water on, after he washed off his crud,

It turned into a little river, that turned into a flood,

Our little apartment fell away,

Into the room where the landlord lay,

He was with several girlfriends, because he was a stud.

STACKS OF SNACKS PLAN, GOES AWRY

Jimbo liked his potato snack,

He bought them by the case to stack,

But, then one day,

A flood took them away,

Now, the snacks feed the critters that go "quack, quack".

WHEN THE OCEANS BOILED AWAY LIMERICK

The oceans all boiled away,

Where they went no one can say,

A world that's hotter, 

Without any water,

Is a place I'm not going to stay.

WINTER WOED ME GOOD

It is the winter of my woe,

It got so cold I froze my toe,

Can't pay for heat, I'm out of doe,

The roof caved in because of snow,

I'm burning books, so heat I'll know.

FIRE SALE

My prop taxes are due once again,

They've gone up on my shack made of tin,

During the last four big fires,

My trailer lost all four tires,

I just can't move away, I can't win.

THE FOUR ALARM FARM FIRE

In the general vicinity of the farm,

A fire broke out, four alarm,

The potatoes got baked,

The corn stalks were coal caked,

But, the livestock suffered no harm.

THE CINNAMON BUN AND MY STAIN

I served punch in my fanciest bowl,

In the bottom the bowl had a hole,

That's where my punch would drain,

On ma's carpet, it left a big stain,

I took comfort with a cinnamon roll.