COLD DADDY AND THE BEAR

A bear wandered up my driveway, and ate a couple of my kids,

My wife, she got extremely hysterical, I just thought, "good rids",

They were both over 35,

Took my money, to stay alive,

I suppose, I will have to sell their stuff; I'll ask around for bids.

THE SHINY, PRETTY THING I KILLED

I observed a shinny, pretty flower,

I feared a big, ugly bug might devour,

So I got some bug spray,

And, I sprayed away,

The flower was dead, within an hour.

I NEED AN INTERVENTION

I'm trying to get over my addiction to snow,

It's hard to get over when it's everywhere that I go,

I need an intervention,

For my re-addiction prevention,

Gift me a trip to Cancun, I'll go.