THREE EYES AND WET SHEETS

I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead,

That is why my wife and my kid, call me Three Eyed Ed,

When small, people called me weird,

That got all three eyes full teared,

It caused me much trauma, that's why I still wet to bed.

THE TATTOO

To scare my spouse, pets and kids, when I am feeling the blue,

I went to the barber and bought me a scorpion tattoo,

Its in the middle of my forehead,

And, I gave it a human name, Fred,

I showed the kids, and they started laughing, I cried, boohoo.

MY COUSINS CAME TO.VISIT, FROM CANADA

My Canadian cousins came to visit, and I think they ate my cats,

They are two freckled, 8 year old, red haired girls, and also little brats,

They would have ate my dogs,

But they craved my pollywogs, 

When I visit them in Vancouver, maybe their gerbils will become hats.