VERN GOT THE CHURN

It was a Merry Christmas for Uncle Vern,

Someone gave Uncle Vern his first butter churn,

Vern churned a batch of butter,

That made hungry guts flutter,

Then, lots of money, Vern's churned butter would earn.

A LOCAL ROLLERBLADER, STOLE ALL OF MAMA'S MARMALADE

Someone raided my big, kitchen pantry, and stole all of my fancy, marmalade,

They probably took it to Sunshine Town, where it's worth its weight in gold, in a trade,

They might trade it for whisky, made of corn,

Or, those magazines, descent people scorn,

Most likely, they traded to get into that park, where kids skateboard, and rollerblade.

COUCH PANTS

Jimmy had pants made of real nice Naugahyde,

Only pair that exists, and I've never lied,

His mama was poor,

Couldn't shop at a store,

Made Jimmy's pants from a couch, sitting outside.

CLANCY LEARNED WINE MAKING IN PRISON

Clancy made some of his famous prison toilet wine,

He forgot to flush the toilet; it was not fine,

The wine had little floaters,

Mostly, they were brown coaters,

So I didn't drink so much, when at Clancy's I did dine.

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