UNCLE LEE ON SATURDAY NIGHT

It's a Saturday night out for my old Uncle Lee,

He can kick up his heels, for a small price, nearly free,

There's  cards, darts, bingo and bowling,

Romance: there's vacant lot trolling,

Many find their true love, under the hazel nut tree.

MEAN JIMMY AND THE HACKEY SACK

Darren had a hackey sack, that he kicked around all day,

Then along came Jimmy, who kicked the hackey sack away,

Because of Jimmy's bad,

Darren big eyes went sad,

Jimmy went and retrieved the sack, and bag toss they did play.

TITANS OF TETHER BALL

I chose 13 winners for my lethal tether ball team

We were gonna be the greatest of champs, so it did seem,

We knocked competition to the floor,

Until they would beg for no more,

We won every match; "meanies", our opponents would scream.

I'M NOT PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK

I needed a deck of plain playing cards,

So I went shopping in peoples front yards,

I found a deck, not new,

Missing cards, quite a few,

I bought it, and to play cards is real hards.

SQUIRRELS ARE LAME GAMERS

I saw two squirrels playing a very silly game,

Rock, Scissors, Paper, a game that is so, so lame,

Should play Five Card Stud,

That game ain't a dud,

And, if you win all the money, life won't be the same.

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WHEN I LOSE, I KNOW I'VE BEEN CHEATED

In the backseat of a Ford,

I play checkers on a board,

With Brother Jim,

And Sister Kim,

I lost, "you cheated", I roared.

THE GOOD DOGGIE GOT THE BAD MAN

There was a man named Johnson, his favorite number was 666.

Johnson was so very mean, he hugged his love with 2 sharp ice picks,

One day Johnson sounded a 3 alarm,

When a dog named Patches, bit Johnson's arm,

Johnson tried to torment and tease the dog, when they played fetch the sticks.

SODA POP MAKES SADNESS STOP

I went over to party with Olivia,

We played music trivia,

I couldn't name any song,

Guessed artist's are all wrong,

Drowned my troubles with Zevia.

MY "F" SONG

I wrote for class a little song,

Graded "F", grammar was wrong,

I played pingpong,

A game of Kong,

Then watched monster movies all night long.

I AM LEVER MAN

I gave the planet called world, a tremendous gift,

I invented the lever, now the world has some lift,

Now we can teeter and totter,

And drink lemon-lime water,

Until we're frozen and buried, in a real deep snow drift.

THE TEETER TOTTER TEARS

It rained on my teeter totter, and now it's all wet,

If now I teeter totter, I will find woe and then regret,

My pants will get all muddy,

And my neighbors will say I'm cruddy

Then I'll end up crying, because I am upset.

THE LEAGUE OF ONE EYES

I play darts in the league of One Eyes,

None of us are too good; that's no surprise,

We have piercings galore,

Each game we bleed sore,

But, we're happy if nobody dies.