HOMEMADE ROOT BEER SAMPLES

I dug up some tree roots to make some root beer,

It didn't taste too good, and my belly felt queer,

I got foam on my clothes,

When it ran from my nose,

If you're on the porcelain throne, please get clear.

DONNY IS A MUMMY

Donny was brain dead so long that his brain had putrefied,

No one dared to tell Donny, that his mind had up and died,

Donny went on year after year,

Staring at sunshine, dear, oh dear,

The sun has now dried out his skin, and now he's mummified.

ROT GUT VEGETATION AND POO

I pulled a pickle from a pickle jar, and it was hairy,

I put the pickle back and went and picked a strawberry,

Produce that is hairy,

Is awful scary,

And, often hairy, scary makes for a watery poo, poo.

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BOBBY UNINVITRD

The bears threw a New Year's party, but Bob was not invited,

Last time he got stinking drunk, and the toilet, he blighted,

After those puke filled nights,

Donny got no invites,

A bar in Big Rapids is where Bobby was last sighted.

A POX ON CRISTMAS IN JULY

I got a toy train for Christmas, but I just got it out of the box,

It's almost the 4th of July, and I'm stuck home with the chicken pox,

My train goes "choo, choo, choo",

With an engine hauling cars #1 and #2,

It's run over two small plastic humans, and almost hit the rubber fox.

I WAS SO BAD, I ENDED UP IN CHUM'S CORNERS

I went to a party down state in Pontiac,

Woke up in Chum's Corners in a  tin lean-to shack,

Felt kind of rough,

Ate some strawberry fluff,

Can't go anywhere, because funds I do lack.

I YELLED AT MY PUPPY QUEEN, THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN

It's the day after Halloween,

And, I am feeling so unclean,

I ate so much candy, I split my spleen,

The sugar high made me mean, 

I yelled at my puppy, Queen,

The toilet bowl is now my scene,

Where I lose candy and turn grass green.

CAVORTING AND RUBS

Docs told me my innards and outsides are crawling with bugs,

Because, I've been cavorting with strangers and giving them hugs,

So, they prescribed me some rubs,

Told me to steer clear of some pubs,

And, it wouldn't hurt if I deep cleaned my bedding and rugs.

MY HAMBURGER SMELLED A LITTLE FUNNY TODAY

My hamburger smelled a little funny today,
It smelled like a toilet with a whiff of bug spray,
I'm not a real fussy lad,
So, I ate what I had,
But, tonight I'm afraid I will pay.

THE STEVE LIMERICK

This limerick is about a hiker named Steve,
Up steep, rocky mountains he'd swerve and he'd weave,
Once he got to the top,
He sucked down sodapop,
Then, Steve got sick and gave his soda a heave.