A BUG DUG

A bug dug under my fingernail,
He bit hard and I let out a wail,
The bug dug in deep,
Which caused me to weep,
I felt better after three pints of ale.

5822

THERE WAS A COLLEGE STUDENT NAMED DRAKE

There was a college student named Drake,
Over and over the same class he'd take,
The first time he got a "C",
The second time a grade "B",
He should get an "A" now for goodness sake.

12317

GEORGE TOOK A BOAT OUT ON A LAKE

George took a boat out on a lake, 
To see what big fish he could take, 
The boat started to leak, 
It was a wooden antique, 
George knew he had made a mistake.

31021

THERE WAS A ROCKBASS NAMED MURKY

There was a rock bass named Murky,
When he swam he swam really Jerky,
He swam over a dam,
Did a forehead slam,
Now he thinks that he is a turkey.

PP090823

MORT THE ROBOT-Limerick

There was a robot named Mort,
For a tin man he was real short,
He could not compute,
Or, do a square root,
He couldn't even write a report.

Mort was a real klutzy robot,
He was one since he was a tin tot,

He couldn't run in gym,
He would sink and not swim,
His circuits were covered with rot.

Mort went for years to robot school,
He still turned out to be a real fool,
He could not count past three,
Or, pronounce the letter "B",
Now, he's just someone's can opener tool.

THERE ONCE WAS A POLAR BEAR NAMED LARRY

There was a polar bear named Larry,
He was fat and slow and harry,
He once caught a seal,
But, when it started to squeal,
Larry dropped it because it was scary.

BEN RAN-Limericks

Ben ran over a sharp wire,
It punctured right through his tire,
In just a little bit,
The wire the lightning hit,
That caused a massive car fire.

Ben hit a tree with his van,
It buckled up like a can,
Ben said he didn't care,
Then along came a bear,
Then on down the highway Ben ran.

ON HALLOWEEN A WITCH FLEW HER BROOM-Limerick

On Halloween a witch flew her broom,
She flew really low and went Zoom!!!
She hit a rock,
It cleaned her clock,
Her broom then blew up and went Boom!!!

LIL Limerick

There was a sweet lady named Lil,
She worked down at the bar and grill,
She'd do as you please,
With more onions and cheese,
Her burgers were just such a thrill.

MONSTER RAT LIMERICK 1

I saw a big monster rat,
He's twice the size of my cat,
He scared off my dog,
Then slept like a log,
Thanks to my baseball bat.

I WENT SALMON FISHING IN THE SPRING? LIMERICKS

I went salmon fishing early this spring,
I was pulled in like a real ding-a-ling,
The fish pulled me down river,
The cold gave me a shiver,
I don't know if it was a coho or king.

I went salmon fishing in the early spring,
But, salmon run in the fall and that's the thing,
I did get my wish,
I hooked a big fish,
He yanked my arm off and my gold ring.

I went salmon fishing in the spring,
I hooked onto a big log or some other big thing,
I had very bad luck,
My bait would not come unstuck,
My line broke and made a loud ping.

JIM SLIPPED AND FELL ON SOME ICE

Jim slipped and fell on some ice,
Ground contact did not feel real nice,
When he got to his feet,
He felt a pain in his seat,
In his back pocket was a key chain device.

GEORGE WENT FISHING ON A RIVER-Limerick

George went to a river to fish,
He needed some fish for a dish,
George fell in the water,
But couldn't swim like an otter,
A rescue was all George could wish.

SHELLY WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES

Shelly was a goody two shoes,
She would not smoke or touch the booze,
But, when she left Randy,
She ate too much candy,
Now, wherever she goes she must ooze.

THERE WAS A RABBIT NAMED RANDY

There was a rabbit named Randy,
He only ate Halloween candy,
He got really big,
Now he oinks like a pig,
And drowns his sorrows with brandy.

There was a rabbit named Randy,
His fur was salty and sandy,
He gained lots of weight,
So, he couldn't get a date,
It's a good thing that Randy is handy.

THERE WAS AN OLD WITCH ON HALLOWEEN

There was an old witch on Halloween,
Her hair was black, here eyes were green,
She used her broom,
To sweep her room,
Her home was exceptionally clean.


There was an old witch on Halloween,
Her favorite colors were red and green,
No orange and no black,
Other witches fought back,
Turned the old witch into a money machine.

BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE SQUIRREL

My mind is in a complete whirl,
I was attacked by a brain eating zombie squirrel,
He jumped on my head,
Soon I was dead,
If I eat anything but brains I will hurrell.

THERE ONCE WAS A GHOST NAMED NANCY-Limerick

There once was a ghost named Nancy,
She liked to dress up really fancy,
She liked to wear hats,
All covered with bats,
Which made any onlooker antsy.

Nancy was a real crazy ghost,
She liked to hide behind a post,
She would jump out and say,
"Boo! You go away,"
She was thought of as a poor host.

LEPRECHANS NAMED SARAH AND JANE

I knew a leprechaun named Sarah,
She lived in the attic of her aunt Clara,
Oatmeal cookies she sold,
Made a big pot of gold,
So, she bought a diamond tiara .

There was a leprechaun named Jane,
She moved from Dublin to Southern Spain,
She sold sports cars,
Saved gold in quart jars,
And, made rainbows after each rain.

BRAD ATE SPOILED HOT DOG RELISH

Brad ate a hot dog but the relish was spoiled,
His stomach couldn't take it and so it recoiled,
He had to repeat and repeat,
Until his upchuck was complete,
Now he won't eat relish unless, it's been boiled.