THERE WAS A COLLEGE STUDENT NAMED DRAKE

There was a college student named Drake,
Over and over the same class he'd take,
The first time he got a "C",
The second time a grade "B",
He should get an "A" now for goodness sake.

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PETE THE OGRE

There was an ogre named Pete,
He kept his hovel real neat,
They thought he was mean,
Because he was clean,
They refused to sell him some meat.

Because the townspeople were so rude,
Pete the Ogre could buy no food,
So, instead of baked brownies,
Pete lunched on the townies,
Pete became a respectable dude.

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I INVESTED IN REAL ESTATE

I invested in real estate, stocks and, bonds,
While the wizards on Wall Street waved their wands,
I fell for their pitch,
They got really rich,
With Wall Street you're either poor or you're cons.

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THERE ONCE WAS A BIKER NAMED FARLEY

There once was a big biker named Farley,
He liked to ride around on his Harley,
His tire blew out,
He flew all about,
And landed in a big field of barley.


There once was a biker named Farley,
He drank lots of beer made with barley,
He drank it too quick
Then he got sick,
And he could not ride home on his Harley.

THERE WAS A MONSTER FROM MARS

There was a monster named Lucky, from mars,
He liked fancy beer and fast cars,
When he was driving too fast,
His luck did not last,
Now, the monster sits behind prison bars.

BEN RAN-Limericks

Ben ran over a sharp wire,
It punctured right through his tire,
In just a little bit,
The wire the lightning hit,
That caused a massive car fire.

Ben hit a tree with his van,
It buckled up like a can,
Ben said he didn't care,
Then along came a bear,
Then on down the highway Ben ran.

LIL Limerick

There was a sweet lady named Lil,
She worked down at the bar and grill,
She'd do as you please,
With more onions and cheese,
Her burgers were just such a thrill.

THERE IS A YOUNG FARMER NAMED JAKE

There is a young farmer named Jake,
He hates to hoe and to rake,
He would not milk his cows,
Or feed slop to his sows,
He should quit for goodness sake.

There is a young farmer named Jake,
He'd rather go indoors to bake,
He makes pies full of cherries,
And muffins full of berries,
His best is his double cheese cake.

THERE ONCE WAS A RANCHER NAMED GILES

There was a rancher named Giles,
He hailed from the British Isles,
He raised billy-goats,
On green beans and oats,

The smell would hit you once in a while.

There once was a rancher named Giles,
He has used up all of his wiles,
His Billy Goats won't give milk,
His worms won't sew silk,
And, his horse ran off fifty miles.

SHELLY WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES

Shelly was a goody two shoes,
She would not smoke or touch the booze,
But, when she left Randy,
She ate too much candy,
Now, wherever she goes she must ooze.

THE HOUSE WARMING

My woodstove was in a really bad spot,
It was in the library with books and that lot,
Well my yard looks really neat,
The house burnt up quite complete,
All that’s left is the wood stove and pot.

THERE WAS A RABBIT NAMED RANDY

There was a rabbit named Randy,
He only ate Halloween candy,
He got really big,
Now he oinks like a pig,
And drowns his sorrows with brandy.

There was a rabbit named Randy,
His fur was salty and sandy,
He gained lots of weight,
So, he couldn't get a date,
It's a good thing that Randy is handy.

A GHOST NAMED BOO

There once was a ghost they called Boo.
His eyes, hair and teeth were all blue,
He bleached himself white,
The bleach burned day and night,
So, it made the ghost go boohoo.

A ghost named Boo would haunt and scare,
Everyone he tried to terror,
He went out of the house,
To frighten a mouse,
But, was frightened himself by a bear.

THERE ONCE WAS A GHOST NAMED NANCY-Limerick

There once was a ghost named Nancy,
She liked to dress up really fancy,
She liked to wear hats,
All covered with bats,
Which made any onlooker antsy.

Nancy was a real crazy ghost,
She liked to hide behind a post,
She would jump out and say,
"Boo! You go away,"
She was thought of as a poor host.

THERE ONCE WAS A BOATER NAMED FRANK

There once was a boater named Frank,
He kept running up on the bank,
He once missed the dock,
Slammed into a rock,
Of course then, his boat quickly sank.

A boater named Frank went out on the bay,
It thundered and lightning all of the day,
His boat motor got popped,
Into the water it dropped,
Then, Frank paddled home all of the way.

PHIL THE FARMER-Limerick

Phil the farmer really likes his lunch,
He eats ham and, cheese and, cherry punch,
His teeth have gone bad,
And, he lost them, so sad,
He can't eat anything that goes crunch.

GEORGE WAITED TO SEE THE NEW YEAR

George waited to see the New Year,
He drank fifty cans of light beer,
To the bathroom he went,
He stayed in there 'till Lent,
So he misssed all the fun and the cheer.

THERE WAS A BOXER NAMED DUFF

There was a boxer named Duff,
He thought he was really tough,
He took on a dare,
And fist fought a bear,
Now Duff is looking real rough.

Duff was a boxer who thought he was good,
He busted up bricks, he busted up wood,
He fought a crockadile,
They tussled for a while,
The crockadile ate what he could.

THERE WAS A BIG GUY NAMED LARRY-Limerick

There was a big guy named Larry,
With two noses he really looked scary,
So, he had a nose job,
Now with only one knob,
Larry might actually marry.

TRAVERSE BAY TIME

Traverse Bay is big and blue,
It’s water fun through and through,
You can cross with a boat,
Or else swim or just float’
But, don’t wade it whatever you do.

If you fish in Grand Traverse Bay,
You will catch something during the day,
If you get your wish,
It will be a fish,
Not a sea monster coming your way.