HAVE A COOKIE? MAYBE NOT

My hand got caught in my cookie jar,

I got it out but, it has a big scar,

My cookies are now cruddy,

All covered in my bloody,

And, my company just pulled up in their car.

IT'S FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH THE LIMERICK

It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win,
I'm being visited by a houseful of kin,
They devoured all my steaks,
Leaving me to eat just pancakes,
And, they drank all of my beer, wine, bourbon and gin.