SEAHORSES ARE GOING TO MARS?

I got a call from Mars, and Martians are coming our way,

They want some pet seahorses, at least that's what they say,

Mars is known for sea horse tasty treats,

I won't sell them the critters, as meats,

But, if they pay me in gold, I might look the other way.

SANTA'S SLEIGH CRUSHES TRAILER

Santa's sleigh and reindeer landed on my frail, trailer top,

I heard the sleigh land, and reindeer hooves landing, plop, plop,plop, 

Through the roof came Santa's red sleigh,

The deer followed down, all the way

My remains were cleaned up using a bucket and a mop.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I WALKED 6-7 MILES TO SEE MY COUSIN AND AUNT CORA

I walked 6-7 miles to visit with my dear, Aunt Cora,

She slapped some stakes upon the grill for me and her cute daughter, Dora,

Our picnic on the deck,

Became a rainy wreck,

6-7 hours passed, then the rain quit watering the flora.

IF YOU SEEK THE MEEK, THEY'LL FREAK

Hiding Henry came from the distant cold, snowy world called, Meek,

There, anonymity, is what every good Meeker, does seek,

The Meek great secret, all should know,

Is they like hiding, beneath snow,

If you see one when you shovel snow, don't linger, just give a peek.

I WENT TO WORK AFTER MY DINNER GUESTS WERE GONE

There were 35 dead flies on my sesame seed bun,

I know, because I counted every wire-winged one,

The many flies and stale bun had to go,

They went into the compactor of woe,

I went driving into work, under a rising, red sun.

HAVE A COOKIE? MAYBE NOT

My hand got caught in my cookie jar,

I got it out but, it has a big scar,

My cookies are now cruddy,

All covered in my bloody,

And, my company just pulled up in their car.

IT'S FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH THE LIMERICK

It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win,
I'm being visited by a houseful of kin,
They devoured all my steaks,
Leaving me to eat just pancakes,
And, they drank all of my beer, wine, bourbon and gin.