PETE THE OGRE

There was an ogre named Pete,
He kept his hovel real neat,
They thought he was mean,
Because he was clean,
They refused to sell him some meat.

Because the townspeople were so rude,
Pete the Ogre could buy no food,
So, instead of baked brownies,
Pete lunched on the townies,
Pete became a respectable dude.

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THERE ONCE WAS A SNOWMAN NAMED BILL

There once was a snowman named Bill,
He always had a bad chill,
But, one sunny day,
Bill melted away,
So, getting warm wasn't a thrill.

There once was a snowman named Bill,
He sat on the side of a hill,
As the snow melted one day,
Bill slid down like a sleigh,
And, he forgot to leave us a will.

THERE ONCE WAS A BIKER NAMED FARLEY

There once was a big biker named Farley,
He liked to ride around on his Harley,
His tire blew out,
He flew all about,
And landed in a big field of barley.


There once was a biker named Farley,
He drank lots of beer made with barley,
He drank it too quick
Then he got sick,
And he could not ride home on his Harley.

THERE WAS A MONSTER FROM MARS

There was a monster named Lucky, from mars,
He liked fancy beer and fast cars,
When he was driving too fast,
His luck did not last,
Now, the monster sits behind prison bars.

ON HALLOWEEN A WITCH FLEW HER BROOM-Limerick

On Halloween a witch flew her broom,
She flew really low and went Zoom!!!
She hit a rock,
It cleaned her clock,
Her broom then blew up and went Boom!!!

THERE IS A YOUNG FARMER NAMED JAKE

There is a young farmer named Jake,
He hates to hoe and to rake,
He would not milk his cows,
Or feed slop to his sows,
He should quit for goodness sake.

There is a young farmer named Jake,
He'd rather go indoors to bake,
He makes pies full of cherries,
And muffins full of berries,
His best is his double cheese cake.

I WENT SALMON FISHING IN THE SPRING? LIMERICKS

I went salmon fishing early this spring,
I was pulled in like a real ding-a-ling,
The fish pulled me down river,
The cold gave me a shiver,
I don't know if it was a coho or king.

I went salmon fishing in the early spring,
But, salmon run in the fall and that's the thing,
I did get my wish,
I hooked a big fish,
He yanked my arm off and my gold ring.

I went salmon fishing in the spring,
I hooked onto a big log or some other big thing,
I had very bad luck,
My bait would not come unstuck,
My line broke and made a loud ping.

THE TRAGEDY THAT BEFELL MY BUD BRAD LIMERICK

It is extremely sad,
The tragedy that befell my bud Brad,
He ate angel food cake,
Then drowned in a lake,
Seems you are what you eat and that’s bad.

BENNY COLLECTED COINS OF SILVER AND GOLD

Benny collected coins of silver and gold,
They came from the mint, authenticated I’m told,
He should have been very rich,
But there was some sort of hitch,
The price didn’t go up until after he sold.

Benny collected coins found out in the sea,
The coins were from pirate treasure as rare as can be,
But Benny had bad fate,
For the coins were modern of date,
The oldest date was just 2003.

THERE ONCE WAS A RANCHER NAMED GILES

There was a rancher named Giles,
He hailed from the British Isles,
He raised billy-goats,
On green beans and oats,

The smell would hit you once in a while.

There once was a rancher named Giles,
He has used up all of his wiles,
His Billy Goats won't give milk,
His worms won't sew silk,
And, his horse ran off fifty miles.

SHELLY WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES

Shelly was a goody two shoes,
She would not smoke or touch the booze,
But, when she left Randy,
She ate too much candy,
Now, wherever she goes she must ooze.

THERE WAS A RABBIT NAMED RANDY

There was a rabbit named Randy,
He only ate Halloween candy,
He got really big,
Now he oinks like a pig,
And drowns his sorrows with brandy.

There was a rabbit named Randy,
His fur was salty and sandy,
He gained lots of weight,
So, he couldn't get a date,
It's a good thing that Randy is handy.

A GHOST NAMED BOO

There once was a ghost they called Boo.
His eyes, hair and teeth were all blue,
He bleached himself white,
The bleach burned day and night,
So, it made the ghost go boohoo.

A ghost named Boo would haunt and scare,
Everyone he tried to terror,
He went out of the house,
To frighten a mouse,
But, was frightened himself by a bear.

THERE ONCE WAS A BOATER NAMED FRANK

There once was a boater named Frank,
He kept running up on the bank,
He once missed the dock,
Slammed into a rock,
Of course then, his boat quickly sank.

A boater named Frank went out on the bay,
It thundered and lightning all of the day,
His boat motor got popped,
Into the water it dropped,
Then, Frank paddled home all of the way.

A GOLD FISH NAMED BUCKY

There was a goldfish name of Bucky,
At the casino he was nothing but, lucky,
Every pull came up cherries,
No bananas of berries,
He swam his winnings back home to Kentucky.

GEORGE WAITED TO SEE THE NEW YEAR

George waited to see the New Year,
He drank fifty cans of light beer,
To the bathroom he went,
He stayed in there 'till Lent,
So he misssed all the fun and the cheer.

MANISTEE LAKE TIME

I went fishing on Manistee Lake,
But a leaking old boat I did take,
I got really wet,
And really upset,
Then went swimming home; for goodness sake.


I went fishing out on the ice,
The cold wind did'nt feel very nice,
I started to freeze,
I couldn't feel my knees,
And my sweater was loaded with lice.

THERE WAS A BOXER NAMED DUFF

There was a boxer named Duff,
He thought he was really tough,
He took on a dare,
And fist fought a bear,
Now Duff is looking real rough.

Duff was a boxer who thought he was good,
He busted up bricks, he busted up wood,
He fought a crockadile,
They tussled for a while,
The crockadile ate what he could.

TRAVERSE BAY TIME

Traverse Bay is big and blue,
It’s water fun through and through,
You can cross with a boat,
Or else swim or just float’
But, don’t wade it whatever you do.

If you fish in Grand Traverse Bay,
You will catch something during the day,
If you get your wish,
It will be a fish,
Not a sea monster coming your way.

KALKASKA TIME-Limerick

KALKASKA TIME

Kalkaska is a place with bears,
They’re one of Mother Nature’s terrors,
If you hear one grunt,
You must not confront,
Confrontations are serious errors.

Kalkaska has a huge fountain trout,
It’s taller than anything about,
It’s really speckled,
Some say it’s freckled,

It’s really big there is no doubt.