THERE WAS A MONSTER FROM MARS

There was a monster named Lucky, from mars,
He liked fancy beer and fast cars,
When he was driving too fast,
His luck did not last,
Now, the monster sits behind prison bars.

LIL Limerick

There was a sweet lady named Lil,
She worked down at the bar and grill,
She'd do as you please,
With more onions and cheese,
Her burgers were just such a thrill.

THREE GEESE WENT TO A PARTY

Three geese went to a party,
They had too much to drink,
They picked a fight with three bad skunks,
And, really made a stink,

Three geese were taken to the jail,
For starting a big fight,
Because they were geese they had no bail,
This gave the judge delight,

The judge offered the geese jail for a year,
Or they could be hung off the big willow,
Or the gesse could leave court without a fear,
For the fine of one feather pillow,

The three geese sit in their little pond,
Naked and shivering cold,
Leaving the pond to drink and party,
Was just a little too bold,

Maybe, it's best to find adventure at home,
And, play video games and fish,
Maybe, they should not leave and roam,
Just trade cable for a new dish.

THERE WAS A RABBIT NAMED RANDY

There was a rabbit named Randy,
He only ate Halloween candy,
He got really big,
Now he oinks like a pig,
And drowns his sorrows with brandy.

There was a rabbit named Randy,
His fur was salty and sandy,
He gained lots of weight,
So, he couldn't get a date,
It's a good thing that Randy is handy.

I DISCOVERED MERCURY

I thought I found a pint of old gin,

So, I emptied the contents of sin,

My skin turned real gray,

Then, I passed away,

For, it was mercury that was stored within.💀

81421

VINCENT THE BARTENDER LIMERICKS

Vincent the bartender didn't think so clear,
He used a recipe to poor a cheap beer,
Instead of tapping a beer keg,
He mixed bourbon and nutmeg,
The popularity soon made bourbon real dear.

Vincent the bartender just lost his job,
His drinks were too strong said the boss-owner Bob,
Thus, the profits were low,
Vincent just had to go,
Weaker drinks made the customers sob.

GEORGE CELEBRATED THE NEW YEAR TOO MUCH

George celebrated the New Year,
By drinking way, way too much beer,
He got so sick that he thought he'd die,
Meanwhile the months days would fly by,
He's not sober and February is near.

I NEED A RICH GIRLFRIEND

Need rich girlfriend,
I play computer games, drink,
Need money for both.

RALPHIE SWORE HE'D STAY OFF THE DRINK LIMERICK

Ralphie swore that he’d stay off the drink,
It would have gone well except for his girlfriend Ann Klink,
She was not real nice,
And, with a bottle of spiced rum she’d entice,
Ralphie ended up vomiting all night in the sink.

RICH GIRLFRIEND HAIKU

Need rich girlfriend,
I play computer games, drink,
Need money for both.