I EAT NO PEACHES

I was hungry for peaches, so I went to the grocery store,

The store didn't have any peaches, because they were needed for war,

I did not know what that meant,

I gave the manager, my vent,

My big vent made me very tired, so I went home for a snore.

INFESTATION: SHARP TEETH IN BED

The bedbugs teeth are sharp, and real long,

And, Denny rolled upon the bugs, wrong,

The mad teeth bit in,

Broke wide, Denny's skin,

The Denny Dirge is our local song.

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DENNY AND THE CHAMBER POT SAGA

Denny had a chamber pot, made of porcelain as white as snow,

Every place  that porcelain pot sat,  Denny was sure to go,

When the bedroom chambers smelled of rot

A maid would empty the porcelain pot,

Then Denny would fill it up again, when Denny felt the flow.

WORK A LOT, SLEEP A LOT

I washed my dishes, my laundry, my car, ta-da,

I polished the silver and wiped off the bar, rah-rah,

But, work is a trap,

Leads to an afternoon nap,

I awoke to see the big Northern Star, wah-wah.

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THE THINKER SLEEPS BETWEEN MY EARS

In my head I have a thinker,

Sometimes, he is a stinker,

Like math class,

I will not pass,

I'm tired in class, so I take a winker.

THE HOME INVADER IN MY BED

I laid my head down on the pillow on top of my bed,

But it was not a pillow, it was a possum instead,

It bit on my face,

Then ran from the place,

Leaving my white sheets, turning very wet and very red.

I MISSED THE MOON AND GOT A MARCHING GOON

When young I thought it would happen soon,

That I'd be in a top office near the sun and the moon,

But, of course that is not so,

I've sank forty stories below, 

I'll soon be marched out the door by a goon.

MAYBE IT'S THE BOOGEYMAN?

As I laid upon my bed,

Someone painted my toenails red,

Did some elf play a part?

Or, a troll's expression of art?  

Maybe it's the boogeyman trying to get inside my head?

A FUN FILLED EVENING FOR TWO (DATE NIGHT)

With pots and pans, a dinner I'll make,

 Desert will be a choc frosting cake,

I'll then have a nightcap,

Take a night nap,

In the a.m., out the garbage I'll take.

THE TALE OF TWO TROTTER ON A POTTER

This be the tale of Mr. and Mrs. Trotter,

They liked eating raw oysters and otter,

They both spent much time on the potter,

They'd flush it away with much water,

Then they both laid down on the cotter,

NERO DRANK TO CAPACITY

Nero drank soda pop all week long,

He would not stop, did not know it was wrong,

But, then late at night,

His bed felt not quite right,

And, his wife wrote him a bed pee pee song.

WHEN I EAT PERCH AND THEN SLEEP

Every time I eat fried perch and then sleep,

I dream I'm swimming in out waters, in the way dark and deep,

I'm chased by walleye while, tiny fry are my meat,

I make quick choices to survive and maybe to eat,

And, all around I sense monsters: in the darkness they creep.