JUST LIKE MY GRANDMA, I KILL WITH GREASE

I spent a lifetime making sandwiches, dripping with grease,

I will never find in my demise, an eternal peace,

I invented the heart flopper,

Eventually, heart stopper,

Now, the nightmare of my great guilt, will not cease, will not cease.

THE VAMPIRE PLOTS REVENGE

They chopped off my head, and put me in a deep, cold grave,

They piled on some heavy rocks, so I wouldn't misbehave,

I crawled out of my dead bed,

Crowned my shoulders with my head,

Then I hunted villagers, and fresh made blood they gave.

ZOMBIE CAREER ADVICE FOR DUMMIES VOLUME I

If you want to be a Zombie, you see a dentist first,

Without two good rows of teeth, your Zombie career is burst,

Your teeth must bite, tear and rip,

Even though the blood might drip,

Remember to eat those moist, tender brains, they will quench your thirst.

THE BRAIN SCIENTIST OUTSMARTED ME

A famous brain scientist showed up, just outside of my front door,

The smarty wanted my brain tissues, 3-4 pounds, nothing more,

I sold my tissue for a thousand bucks,

Then went looking for pickup trucks,

I couldn't afford one with an engine, should have sold my brains for more.

I BUILT A MONSTER

I built me a monster out of body parts and old souls,

I wanted a friend, but it had other goals,

It conquered the earth,

Which hurt my net worth,

And it used it's strength to rip me new holes.