RAT DANCE, I TRIED

I watched a rat dance; figured it was too much for me,

There was too much fast movement, and sort of silly,

I gave it a real try,

Broke my hip, bruised my thigh,

I had a big rat crash, and it was a dilly.

SCHOOL FLUNKED, PENSION PUNKED

I failed all my finals and flunked out of college school,

I went to work for my uncle, who does dye and tool,

In my 40th year,

Claimed my pension, oh dear,

Seems my uncle had spent it on parties and a pool.

WINNING THROUGH BROWN NOSING

I went to the city theatre, which was located downtown,

They wouldn't let me in, so I called the manager a bad noun,

Although I have no money,

My soul is bright and sunny,

I should have a free pass, since I compliment my nose brown.

AI GAVE ME FAT THIGHS

I ordered from an AI, my dinner online,

The AI took my order and I thought all was fine,

I ordered chicken and fries,

Got pancakes and fried thighs,

I think the AI should stop sampling the wine.

MONTREAL VACATION

I went to Montreal to see the buildings and the beautiful sites,

But I had trouble speaking French, because I lack some brights,

At restaurants, I felt despair,

For food and drink, I had just air,

Next time I go to Montreal, with an interpreter I'll get the tights.