ELYSIUM LIVES IN MY CHICKEN COUP

My  bestest friend Elysium, went to take a withdrawal from their bank,

Elysium lost all of their money, because the bank was in the tank,

The bank made zero credit, mortgage loans,

Invested in refurbished, flip flop phones, 

Broke, Elysium moved into my chicken coup, although the smell is rank.

BAD LUCK UNCLE LEE

My Uncle Lee has been acting very weirdo, strange,

Ever since Uncle got that slight case of doggy mange,

He also caught a pox, 

While confined in detox,

He's also lost his savings, playing the stock exchange. 

MY MONEY MEMES

I'm investing money in those political memes,

It's just like buying chocolates, full of sugar creams,

You could taste, pickle sour,

Then taste a sweet flower,

I'm making billions and billions, in my greedy dreams.

THE CRYPTO BILLIONAIRE

I invested $15.00 in crypto this morning, by noon,  I was a millionaire,

Mama told me I was crazy, and of crypto money, I had better beware,

By next week my one million,

Will turn into a billion,

Then I'll move out of mama's basement into a mansion, I'm just not sure quite where.

A LITTLE LIFE GROUNDED, AFTER DREAM

I invested in sugar markets, because I got a sweet deal,

I bought sugar futures, because they have that upper classy feel,

I could prance as a snob,

As the peasants I rob,

Of course, I can't pay room rent, because my fancy dreams just ain't real.

I BOUGHT PROPERTY TO HUNT ON

I signed a purchase agreement, and bought a tiny, country lot,

All it has for a bathroom is a deer blind, and a two quart pot,

There is no place to sleep,

Except under the stars, or in my jeep,

I did find a roadkill deer, I'd eat it, but it's got some rot.

FEELING FORTUNATE

Fortunes are many but, my coins are few,
I made some investment but, they were pee-ew,
But, through financial decline,
I still can make and drink wine,
Then, I can few fortunate too.

I'M THROUGH BECAUSE MY TAXES ARE DUE

Today my income taxes are all due,

I can't pay them so, I guess I am through,

For my savings expired,

When my broker retired,

He left the country and I can't even sue,