MY SNOWBLOWER WAS NOT "SATISFACTION GUARANTEED".

I bought me a snowblower and it did not work,

I tried taking it back, and it was refused by a clerk,

I demanded to talk to the one in charge,

There is always one of them at large,

That one banned me from the store, and called me a jerk.

I SUE OVER APPLE WARTS

I found a wart on my apple, while drinking homemade port,

So, I thought I'd take the apple maker, to small claims court,

The apple maker was a tree,

He apologized to me,

He said usually warts on apples, are found when we sort.

BUBBLE WRAP WENT

The little bubble wrap went Snap! Snap! Snap!

The big bubble wrap went Bap! Bap! Bap!

The paper filler went Rip! Rip!

Out fell the packing slip,

And Ben saw that he was shorted, so he went and took a crap.

PARNELL WENT TO WORK AND LOST HIS JOB

Parnell went to work and lost his job,
He worked in retail and looked like a slob,
His cloths did not fit,
He smelled just a bit,

And the register, Parnell liked to rob.