RETIREMENT: MILLION DOLLAR TV ACTING JOB TO DOING COMMUNITY THEATRE FOR FREE

I was an actor in a Hollywood TV show, when they fired the entire cast,

We had become too old, so they replaced us with kids, who had barely a teenager past.

I'm not saying what the network did was right,

But, the ratings skyrocketed overnight,

Old actors still have Shakespeare community theater; to fit into tights, we'll have to fast.

STAY IN SCHOOL, OR BE A GHOUL

My big sister Trina, became a creepy, sinister ghoul,

That was her default job, because she wouldn't attend her school,

Kids, go to school, work hard and behave,

Or, you'll be digging up someone's grave,

And, no matter what my sister says, grave robbing is not cool.

WHAT I'VE DONE SINCE COLLEGE

I studied corporate finance, also quantum physics too,

I got a job in banking, managed money, for people like you,

Then the securities market tanked

My security licence was yanked,

Now I'm in a federal prison, but I got a window view.

GERBIL JONES AND DRONES

I have a little pet, named Gerbil Jones,

I let him chew on all the chicken bones,

When he turned five and twenty,

I figured I fed him plenty,

Now he delivers packages, by flying delivery drones.