THE UN-GRADUATED UNDERGRADUATE, HAS A HISSY FIT

I opened my mail, and got a brand new communication,

Addressed from the university administration,

They said they looked and could not see,

How I earned a college degree,

All that work these may years, ends only with frustration.

THE PERFORMANCE MATTERS LIMERICK

I turned my term paper in too late,

Instructor said, it would seal my fate,

My grades were too low,

So home I would go,

I suppose with the folks, I'll have a debate.

I'M GONNA BE COOL IN LIVERPOOL

The solar eclipse is coming; the goose pooped in my hat,

And, I was rejected by every single college frat,

I think I will drop out of school,

And trip over to Liverpool,

I heard that in Old England, is where all the actions at.

IF CAUGHT OUT IN A STORM, INFORM YOUR RA NAMED NORM

Benny was not warm,

When it started to storm,

He was not home at dorm

And, Benny failed to inform,

His RA named Norm.

LITTLE GOAT GOES TO COLLEGE

A little goat ate all my flowers,

In record time, with his chewing powers,

I had to say

"Little goat, go away",

Now he lives in a dorm called The Towers.

DOCTOR SISTER DROOLS AND SLURPS AND BURPS AT LUNCH

I wish my sister would stop slurping and drooling,

For my lunch appetite is rapidly cooling,

At age 45,

She won't leave ma's hive,

Although sis has much advanced degree schooling.

I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE DORMS

I went to the Hub to watch some performs,

The RA walked in and I got kicked from the dorms,

It was mid-winter and it was freezin'

The wind blew hard, no gentle breezin'

So, I built a large fire to keep me toes warms.