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Showing posts with label relatives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relatives. Show all posts

Friday, September 27, 2024

THE IN-LAWS AND MOBY DICK

My awful in-laws have eaten all the worms in my pail,
I needed the worms to go fishing, to catch me a whale,
It just is not funny,
Those worms cost me money,
And in under three minutes, the fishing boat will set sail.




Monday, July 1, 2024

ZODIE THE VENGEFUL

Zodie had a temper, she'd get mad and start crushing bugs,
Sister Cindy was so nice, she spent all day giving puppies hugs,
Sister Zodie shoved Cindy down,
Sister Cindy made smile, no frown,
Sister Zodie sought revenge, filling Vinegar in Cindy's water jugs.

31324

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

MY FLOWERS DIED, THANKS SIS!

My new potable flowers came in the mail,
I planted them deep, on my walk, in a pail,
They were lots of pretty,
Prettied my trashy city,
Then sister peed on them, to empty out ale.

Saturday, April 13, 2024

THE MIND WAR

I fought a mind war with checkers, against my natural foe,
He was my crazy sister's new boyfriend, and his name was Beau,
Beau took the round reds,
I got the black heads,
I  won when Beau's very last king, had no safe place to go.

 

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

BROTHER BRAT

My trumpet notes are really flat,
Since my brother beat it with a bat,
He beat my oboe on the floor,
And slammed my trombone in ma's truck door,
My big brother is a bully brat.

P08302023










Tuesday, December 26, 2023

UNCLE JAKE IS NUTS, BUT HE DIDN'T HURT ANYONE THIS CHRISTMAS

Christmas is all over, and I am giving Uncle Jake a golden star,
He did not try to run us over in his Lincoln Continental car,
I took away his baseball bat,
Replaced it with a tin foil hat,
And, I sent with him home, my homemade mincemeat in a jar.

Friday, December 22, 2023

THE FAMILY COMES TOGETHER TO SHARE THEIR LOVE AND A MEALπŸŽ„❄❄❄❄❄πŸŽ„

Every holiday it's not surprising,πŸ™„
With all the family tensions rising,😑
After all our nasties are said,πŸ™Š
We sit down and break bread,🍞
Afterwards, we continue despising.🍷🍸🍹🍺

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

DISAGREEMENTS INEVITABLE

They might be a complete stranger,
They might be your kith and your kin,
The only one that thinks just like you do,
Is the person that's wearing your skin.

Thursday, June 2, 2022

IT WAS BITTER TWEET

It was a very bitter tweet,
That I received for my deceit,
I told grandma, I had soar feet,
So I couldn't stop by, for sup to eat,
My rat sister exposed, I went clubbing for meat.

Thursday, December 30, 2021

THE BALLAD OF HAPPY PARKER, MAN OF THE SOUTH

Parker liked eating possum,
He baked it in his pie,
Parker liked his possum sandwiches,
On whole wheat bread, never rye,

Parker had the hiccups,
Parker had the farts,
Parker couldn't play baseball,
But was really good at darts,

Parker had a brother,
He smelled like fishy-trout,
Parker threw him in the river,
The gators ate his belly out,

Parker had six daughters,
Parker had an apple tree,
His daughters made apple wine for him,
So Parker was happy.


Thursday, November 25, 2021

DINNER, HUGS, BUGS, RUGS AND PORCELAIN

My family came over for dinner and hugs,
I love them so much, in their food I put bugs,
With a heave and and ho,
To my bathroom they go, 
I just hope they hit porcelain, not rugs.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

CHRISTMAS: THE NIGHT BEFORE LIMERICK

It was the night before Christmas and I just found my mouse,

I had searched and I searched all over the house,

I had e-mails to send,

Many relatives to offend,

Then, I spilled eggnog and my keyboard took a douse.