BETTER MEAL: DRY ROAST TURKEY, OR FRIED CHICKEN

Harry stepped on my tulips, so he got no Easter cheesecake, or pie,

Harry didn't get Easter Dinner, because the crushed tulips made me cry,

Harry went back home, alone,

For his crimes, he must atone,

Harry made his own dinner, not dry turkey, but a moist chicken, fry.

Purple Is His Eye, And Broke Is Jimmy's Pelvis

Purple is Jim's swollen eye, and broke is Jim's pained Pelvis,

Jim got into a fight with a guy, named Big Alpha Elvis,

It was over a girl Jim tried to steal,

But, Jim offered no personal appeal,

Now Jim is mending up, staying with 3rd cousin Melvis.

WHEN I BOUGHT THE WHOLE BAR A ROUND LIMERICK

When I figured my finances were solid and sound,
I decided to buy the whole bar a round,
But I came up real short,
And, the bar keep no sport,
I still remember how hard he could pound.