RED NECK LAWN ORNAMENT

Fast forward my little truck, will never, ever go,

The engine won't turnover, and that's pretty, darn slow,

I took it to repair,

That ended in despair,

The car's rusting in my yard, and around it I Mow.

WASHING MACHINE BLUES

My washing machine flooded the floor,

A soap river flowed out my backdoor,

The wet wood started to a cave,

Made the crawlspace its grave,

My landlord saw the mess, and did roar.

DANGEROUS JOURNEYS

Although I got electrocuted when I gave them just a touch,

My jumper cables did not jump my battery, very

much,

So I was stranded on the road,

Laying in electrocuted mode,

Then a big rig went whizzing by, and he did not engage his clutch.