THE RED PLANET FROZEN BARS

So, methinks I was headed up to Mars,

But my spaceship fell back down and crushed cars,

I got a lawsuit,

From each crushed toot, toot,

Now I deliver to stores ice cream bars.

THURMOND'S TELESCOPE IS FOR THE BIRDS

Thurmond's telescope made the news one day,

When Thurmond saw spacecrafts heading our way,

After networks broadcast his words,

The spacecrafts turned out to be birds,

There was a crow, a dove and blue jay.

PP033022
 

SPACE MONSTERS CAN HURT

There's a monster outside my spaceship, and he is from cold, deep space,

I think he wants to eat me, or maybe mess up real bad, my face,

He has long, sharp teeth, to bite,

Long claws to scratch out my sight,

I am wishing right now, I was way back home, by my fireplace.

THE LITTLE SQUIRT DIDN'T MAKE IT TO MARS

Leon came to see me, but I didn't say a single word,

I saw 4 people walk past him, and each gave him the bird,

I knew his feelings were badly hurt,

He lost his rocket, called little squirt,

His rocket was unpopular, and he thought that absurd.

MY TRAILER IS LIKE A SPACESHIP, RIGHT?

I built a massive space rocket, and it exploded, right in my face,

Now, amongst all the of rocketeers, I am laughed at; a big disgrace,

So, now I just create fireworks,

I won't  be joining the Captain Kirks,

Instead of running NASA, I have a travel trailer for my base.

WHAT I DO BEST? I MAKE BOOM!

I built a huge rocket and flew it to Mars,

It never got there, but blew up and made stars,

They were all very shinny,

Did not last; just too tiny,

I guess I'll stick to building exploding cars.

THE SPACECRAFT BACK SEAT DRIVER

MY SPACECRAFT RAN INTO A STAR

My Spacecraft by L. Brandt

My spacecraft ran into a star,
Now, my spacecraft will not go,
And, I did not pay my insurance bill,
So, I cannot get a tow,

I'm now stranded way out in deep space,
My oxygen is running low,
No one answers calls to my place,
And, I can't reach my good friend Joe,

I'd like to order pizza,
But, there's limits on my doe,
Alone and hungry in deep space,
There are no limits on my woe. 

MY TRAVELS IN SPACE

Because my spaceship traveled slow,

There was no planet I could go,

I hailed a starship for a tow,

I had some money, they wanted mo,

I've found space travel for me, yields woe.

I WAS ABDUCTED BY ORB ALIENS

I went out fishing in the early afternoon,

I tripped out toward the big fish where I saw moon after moon,

But the moons were orbs on the bay,

They all took me away,

I hope to be back fishing, real soon.

WHEN I WAS FLYING A KITE

When I was flying my big blue kite,
A skeeter gave me quite a bite,
The bite made me pull the string real tight,
And, I flew off towards the Earth's skylight,

Of course flying high was quite appealing,
Until, I hit the Earth's  great black ceiling,
Then, I had this real bad feeling,
That real bad cards to me, were dealing,

Finally, I started to mostly freeze,
First my fingers then, toes and knees,
And, although I was desperate to heave a sneeze,
My frozen mucus didn't rate a  wheeze,

At last a spaceship passed nearby,
I think that pilot could barely fly,
He let his spacecraft engines burn through my string,
Then I had to do that falling thing,

Down toward Earth I fell ever faster,
Toward my own personal disaster,
Seems a soft ocean landing I could not master,
For I splashed down on a birdbath made of plaster.