BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

My neighbors were setting off holiday crackers,

The crackers sounded like cannon blast attackers,

One hit my shingled, tar roof,

Caused a fire that went poof,

I'm short a house, and eat donated cheese snackers. 

HAPPY BOXING DAY

It's another fun filled "Happy Boxing Day".

From my boring work, I will stay far, far away,

I'll come home at three,

Have tatters and tea,

Then I'll hibernate, until the birds sings in May.

JIMMY SMILED SO SLY, ON THE 4TH OF JULY

Jimmy had cracker explosions for the 4th Of July,

He ate olive  bologna with sauerkraut on rye,

So with each sky boom, boom,

Jimmy let off a toxic perfume,

Then at the folks all around, he smiled, so sly.

THE RUBBER DUCK FESTIVAL IN BELLAIRE

The festival of the rubber ducks,

It's not for the gobbles or the cluck, clucks,

It's just for quackers,

Down pillow packers,

On the menu, roast quackers, lacking lucks.

A BIGFOOT HOLIDAY

I invited for dinner my friend Marvin Hoots,

He brought his family, all of them were bigfoots,

While belching passionately,

They ate my holiday tree,

Then with their trumpets they played me some toots.

Who Will Be Dinner? The Turkey Or Me?

I went for the turkey and the vicious turkey, went for me,

One would be dinner the other, a tomorrow would not see,

We fought and we fought and we fought,

Till my throat, the turkey wings caught,

I hope he chokes on my wishbone then, we're together, me and he.

REVENGE OF THE GASSY GHOST

A terrible ghost is haunting my house,

It's the guy I had poisoned when he was my spouse,

So gassy is he,

Makes my eyes watery,

And, he's spoiling my Halloween dinner grouse.

THE BOYS OF HUMMER

The Boys of Hummer was a male humming choir,

They entertained when the need was dire,

When a wedding or parade came along,

They would hum us an old song,

Then, they got old and had to retire.