SQUIRRELS ARE LAME GAMERS

I saw two squirrels playing a very silly game,

Rock, Scissors, Paper, a game that is so, so lame,

Should play Five Card Stud,

That game ain't a dud,

And, if you win all the money, life won't be the same.

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CATO'S POTATO AND THE BIG, FOUL BEAR

There was a spider monkey named Cato,

The only food he had was a potato,

Along came this foul bear, 

He demanded his share,

In exchange, he shared his tomato. 

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JIMMY DRESSED FOR SPORT

Jimmy played several sports,

He would always wear sport shorts,

His clothes were green,

Stayed mostly clean,

He wore white on tennis courts.

HARRY PLAYED 13 HOLE HARMONY

Harry didn't like playing harmony, but that's all they'd let him do,

Although, Harry was acclaimed at playing the 13 hole kazoo, 

Melody was for the 1st strings,

Harmony for the other things,

So Harry organized a union, now melody he plays too.

ORLANDO BASEBALL

Orlando loved playing the outdoor sport of baseball,

He could make the bases, because he was lean and tall,

He shocked all the umpires faces,

When he made 1st base in 2 paces,

Some said Orlando playing, was not fair at all.

MY GATOR WANTED MY TURTLE

My pet gator had those food, lustful eyes,

When upon my pet turtle, he spies,

It was a sure fate,

That my turtle got ate,

He tasted good in my soup, surprise.

THE DINO DOGGIE DUEL

My dinosaur, she pogo-sticked,

Until upon her, a dog was sicked,

But she ran away fast,

Dog's pursuit did not last,

It seems that dog was dino-quicked.

TODD LOST HIS BASE

Todd looked all over the place,

But his feet couldn't find third base,

Todd was tagged out and became a disgrace,

No one would look him in the face,

Except Jean, who gave Todd bear mace,

Todd moved away to another place,

Where Todd just watched the ponies race,

And no one got on his case.

BLUE RIBBON ART BY MARVIN

Marvin threw up; we all took pity

But he thought his vomit looked real pretty,

He took it to an art show,

And what would you know,

Marvin won blue ribbon for his statement being witty.

THE JOY OF BEING SNEAKY

Being smart or having looks that stun,
Is for the dullards and the geeky,
The greatest minds will gain their fun,
From the joy of being sneaky,

When you suffer from a business gone bad,
You will whimper and blame it on luck,
When a deal with a sneak is what you had,
Because the sneak could make a fast buck,

When a girl you like avoids you everyday,
You blame hygiene or the atire you wear,
When it was the sneak, who made his home play,
When he told her your wife just might care,

A sneak is rich, loved; you know the type,
A sneak knows what to do and to say,
 Being good and honest is just a great hype,
Invented by the sneaky they say.