APOCALYPSE: GOOD NEIGHBORS OR FOOD INSECURITY

When dad use to go out hunting,  neighbors went missing, but our freezer was full of meat,

Mom spent very little at the grocery store, but we always had plenty to eat.

One day the police came,

Mom and dad had gained fame,

They were both famous for their YouTube channels that showed how to prepare exotic meat.

MY NEIGHBOR EATS DIGITS

Your neighbor next door down, knows,

That you have juicy fingers and toes,

As the neighbor's belly gets tight,

He'll definitely take a bite,

And back, your lost digit, never grows.

HUSBAND, WHO CAME HOME LATE, WAS STEWED

There was a crazy, ragged, old lady, who lived with a red tennis shoe,

That is all the old lady had left, of her fourth husband, named Lou,

The old lady felt sad,

She loved Lou awfully, bad,

But with onions, peppers and taters, Lou tasted great in a stew.

KING BEN

Way far back in the year CE ten,

We were conquered, destroyed by King Ben,

We thought we were burnt toast,

But were cut into roasts,

We then fed all of King Benny's men.

THE LITTLE DEMON DINNER PARTY

I went and found a demon, eating his dinner out in the wood,

He was chomping on someone's arms and legs, while smacking his lips real good,

He asked me if I'd sit down and sup,

I said, "no thanks", before I threw up,

The demon replied, " more for me", as I turned back towards my neighborhood.

Who Will Be Dinner? The Turkey Or Me?

I went for the turkey and the vicious turkey, went for me,

One would be dinner the other, a tomorrow would not see,

We fought and we fought and we fought,

Till my throat, the turkey wings caught,

I hope he chokes on my wishbone then, we're together, me and he.

I AM PROTEIN

I went to see witches to buy magic brew,

Alas, they hit me on the head and threw me into their stew,

It wasn't so bad,

Between the potatoes and bread,

I was the protein for one meal, maybe two.