LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Care
.
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Showing posts with label
Care
.
Show all posts
Sunday, December 15, 2024
GUPPY JERKY
My fish tank was so full of guppies, they flopped onto the floor,
They'd dry and my kitty would eat them, then looked around for more,
The guppies dried; became jerky,
A chewy husk that was quirky,
I started selling jerked guppies, on all of my online stores.
Wednesday, May 8, 2024
PERSONAL DENTAL CARE
I bought some fluoride toothpaste that came in a white, glass jar,
I did not have to squeeze it, so I thought it would go far,
It caught me off my guard,
When the whole jar turned hard,
I now brush with baking soda; my teeth are black as tar.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
I LOVED AND I GOT GONGED
There are dirty diapers in the morning, and all day long,
Dirty diapers, dirty diapers, I did something wrong,
I use to be in my fish boat,
All day long, I'd relax and float,
Then I spied a beauty on the beach, and life gave me a gong.
31325
Sunday, November 19, 2023
CHASING THE SUN GOING DOWN
I saw the sun go down way deep into the ground,
So I sent out my doggie to hound and hound,
Well, he would run and run,
He never found the sun,
But, I fed him some pork liver, a couple of pound.
Thursday, October 5, 2023
THE SHINY, PRETTY THING I KILLED
I observed a shinny, pretty flower,
I feared a big, ugly bug might devour,
So I got some bug spray,
And, I sprayed away,
The flower was dead, within an hour.
Monday, August 21, 2023
THE PERCH OF WINSTON CHURCH
Before Benny went back to school, he said, "bye", to Winston Church,
Winston is a parakeet, who sits and poops upon his perch,
Benny left Winston food to eat,
Filled Winston's water, and left a treat,
Some days when Winston gets real board, he does a Google search.
Thursday, August 17, 2023
BEN OF NAILS
Ben's toe nails were a yard longer than his feet,
Ben showed them off by walking barefoot down the street,
But, all the neighbors made fun,
Kids would scream and then run,
Ben got his nails trimmed by a manicurist named Pete.
Friday, June 2, 2023
AVOIDED LEACHES, BUGS, WORMS AND CRABS, BUT NOT FLIES
My towel was my little piece of paradise on the beach,
It held down beneath me the worm, bug, crab and blood sucking leach,
But then came the flies,
They molested my eyes,
Be extremely cautious at the beach, is the sermon I preach.
Saturday, March 4, 2023
FENDING OFF DISEASE AND BUGS
Varmints come and varmints go,
Some bring lice; some virus woe,
Don't be a dope,
Wash hands soap,
And shower from head to toe.
Thursday, March 2, 2023
GOLDFISH HEAVEN
Heaven is full of goldfish, thanks to me,
Every time I buy one, they live two weeks, maybe three,
The body goes into the toilet bowl,
One flush separates corpse from soul,
This is as close as my goldfish get to a burial at sea.
Friday, July 8, 2022
STING, SUPER CUTS AND GUTS
Tinker was a little nuts,
He ate only hornet guts,
They made is mouth sting,
And that was his thing,
Along with giving his lawn super cuts.
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