MY TRAVELS THIS YEAR

My company sent me to Bolivia,

Then transferred me to Japan,

Then they moved me to Idaho, 

Where I eat beans out of a can,

It seems that I am always on the go,

I traveled to Flint to bury Uncle Joe,

But I opened his urn and away he did blow,

I did supper in Saginaw on taters and doe,

Glad to leave Michigan where road conditions cause woe,

FRED THE RED HAS GONE TO THE BAY

I had to box and bury my bestest friend, Fred,

My favorite goldfish, only he was more red,

He's now swimming today,

In a heavenly bay,

With all my other goldfish that I have found dead.

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DRAGONS UNHEALTHY

Dragons will eat nothing but fatty, red meat,

Their fat clogged arteries won't let their hearts beat,

 The dragons are always joking,

They'll never give up their smoking,

The same old story at every wake greet.

GOLDFISH HEAVEN

Heaven is full of goldfish, thanks to me,

Every time I buy one, they live two weeks, maybe three,

The body goes into the toilet bowl,

One flush separates corpse from soul, 

This is as close as my goldfish get to a burial at sea.

BACK OF THE TANK PET

It was the back of the tank,

Where my dead goldfish sank,

You'd think after his bloat,

He'd float like a boat,

From the depths, my net gave fishy a yank.

I'M A LITTLE DRIP COFFEEMAKER ( I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOUR BLUES)

I'm a little drip coffeemaker,

I work for the town's undertaker,

When the family feels bad news,

I give them coffee for their blues,

My coffee is good with a doughnut from the baker.