GRIEF FROM THE BEEF

I bought my family a big piece of beef,

Didn't know it would bring them constipation relief,

They used the stocks of toilet paper,

Painted porcelain, made bad vapor,

Clearance slimy beef is not worth the great grief.

Pardon My Finch

I have a little finch that really roars,

It's flatulent wind blows open oak doors,

And, my finch does not care,

That it pollutes everyone's air,

The smell gives me nose bleeding sores.