CONDOR JIMMY RUNS NO MORE

Jimmy was a mighty condor, who ate old potato buns,

But every time he ate them, Jimmy Condor got the runs,

Jimmy took some pills,

To cure his nasty ills,

Now when Jimmy does evacuate, he drops bricks weighing tons.

BENNY AND THE SALMON RUN

Benny was waiting, with his bow, arrows and quiver,

As the mighty king salmon, went running up river,

Benny took an easy shot,

At a big salmon, half-rot,

Shooting dead fish, made meals easier to deliver.

THE VAMPIRE WHO WANTED TO BE REGULAR

I once knew a vampire, who mixed his blood with prune juice,

He said that he did it, to keep his bowels loose,

He said in year 607,

He got tossed out of heaven,

And permanently injured his caboose. 

TOO LOOSE TO TREK

Sammy was a too loose goose; too loose to trek,

Sammy started up a hill and then said, "to heck"

Sammy had to way backtrack,

To the outdoor bathroom shack,

By the time he made it there, Sammy was a nervous wreck.

THE PORCELAIN AND RON'S ALMOND NUTS

Ron wanted some peanuts to eat on today,

But, a bag full of almonds sat in the way

So, on the almonds Ron did feast,

Till Ron gassed up like a beast,

Then, the porcelain in the bathroom had to pay.

GRIEF FROM THE BEEF

I bought my family a big piece of beef,

Didn't know it would bring them constipation relief,

They used the stocks of toilet paper,

Painted porcelain, made bad vapor,

Clearance slimy beef is not worth the great grief.