VERBAL ABUSE AND I LEAVE

My boots are all covered with wet mud,

Walked into the house; got called a crud,

I have no real common sense,

But I took a big offence,

I left for the beer bar for some sud.

Little Wiggins The Pig Part Three

Little Wiggins was a pig, inspired

He traded stocks until he retired,

Wiggins still liked his slop,

He would slurp slop nonstop,

He chewed coffee grounds to get wired.

P01232023

GORDO THE DRAGON SLAYER PART III

Gordo slayed a dragon so big,
He couldn't haul it away with his donkey-cart rig,
So, he decided to stay,
And, ate well for one day,
Then, rode off like a pot-bellied pig.

MY LITTLE PIG WANTS EGGS

When my little pig makes snort, snort, snort, snorts,

Then, I feed him some slop in mason jar quarts,

Some days he wants eggs,

And he beg, beg, beg, begs,

But, he gets none, unless he tries out for sports.

ARE APTITUDE TESTS EVER WRONG?

I took an aptitude test for a job,

While eating buttery corn on the cob,

The results of my test,

Said the job I'd do me best,

Was stuffing food in my mouth like a slob.

I SMELL WHAT I EAT

My name is Magnolia and I smell like a beast,

I always smell foul after a Christmas ham feast,

I like cheese, peppers and kraut,

Stuffed in piggys big snout,

What I like best, most folks like the least.

THE STORY OF TORTY THE PIG

Torty is a really simple pink pig,

So simple he failed algebra, calc and then trig,

So Torty quit school, 

Bought a small plastic pool,

And filled it with slop he could swig.

Turkey Day Dinner With A Surprise

For Turkey Day I ate canned pig,

With a bottle of port and a menthol cig,

And, the big surprise,

I found some old French fries,

They were in the coach and I had to dig.

THE TENOR PIG THAT MADE IT BIG

I gave my pig a real fair choice,
Become a ham or use his voice,
His tenor voice was brilliant,
Really opera resilient,
Now, his ride is a custom Rolls Royce. 

MARTA'S WICKED WHIRLIGIG,

Martha's wicked whirligig,
It was so fast, so big,
It spun way to fast,
Then, went flying at last,
And, made bacon out of Maribel's pig.