THE RED RECKONING FOR DEAD SNOW

I went riding on my snowmobile; it is also called a sled,

I ran over a brand new snowman, now I think that he is dead,

He belonged to the kid, next door,

The kid saw me, now it is war,

The kid sent his Doberman to bite me; my wounds turned the snow red.

BLEACH CHANGES THINGS, IN THE LAUNDRY

My socks were making my toes itch and scratch,

So I put the socks in the laundry batch,

I did not use soap,

Or any of that dope,

I did spill in some bleach, now they don't match.

The Sunfish And My Eye

There was this little sunfish, I tried to deep fat fry,

Then a grease spatter popped, taking out my one good eye,

In my bad eye I see fizzy,

Many bubbles that are busy,

The ambulance picked me up, and I went bye, bye, bye.

WHY I WAS TENTED BY THE ER

I ate way too much, so I thought it caused me to be sick,

Then I remembered, I swallowed a pointy, thin toothpick,

To the ER I was sent,

Stayed in an oxygen tent,

I found a tv remote for my fingers to click.

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

My neighbors were setting off holiday crackers,

The crackers sounded like cannon blast attackers,

One hit my shingled, tar roof,

Caused a fire that went poof,

I'm short a house, and eat donated cheese snackers. 

A SPARKLER RUINED MY 4TH

A sparkler got caught in my hair,

It burned until my head was all bare,

I went home, ate some soup,

Then sat out on my stoop,

I was upset, and I needed some air.

SPIDERMAN RING, DOESN'T BRING ZING.

I went to parties and brought to them zing,

Because I wore lots of solid gold bling,

But all my gold got stole,

From my bedroom bling bowl,

All they left was my plastic Spidie ring.