THE MUG OF A BUG

I told my barber, I'm not hugged, because my haircut is a big disgrace,

The barber looked me in my big eye, and said, the problem was in my face,

He said, you can't get a kiss, kiss hug,

With the the face of a beetle bug,

The barber sent me to his cousin, who has a plastic surgery place.

RAT DANCING WITH PHIL THE PHILISTINE

My brother was truly, a philistine, so he liked to sleep outside,

He moved into the old chicken coup, with the chickens he could confide,

He didn't like culture, so much,

With family, not in touch,

My brother did come to my wedding, and danced the rat dance with my bride.