DEATH, SOLD BY A SALESMAN

I am getting married to my big, pregnant, college sweetheart, Maggie in May,

I am doing it, because her daddy gave me a job, working in the day,

To make stinking rich your widowed wife,

I'll sell you insurance on your life,

If my sales career takes off, I'll buy a family sized condo, on the bay.

BIG SNOW COST DOE, AND WALT HATES ME

My small bank account is shrinking because of the big, heavy snow,

It cost me big money for snow plowing, and my savings grows low,

My father-in-law, Walt,

Thinks the snow is my fault,

Meantime, I look out the window, and suffer spiritual woe.