BRONSON THE BEAVER BEAR-Limerick

Bronson was a beaver bear,
His species was really rare,
He built damns with logs,
Frightened cats and dogs,
A cave was his main lair.

There once was a beaver bear named Bronson,
He moved to Michigan from Wisconsin,
His body was a black bear,
His beaver head gave a scare,
He married a beaver bear named Johnson.

THERE WAS A BULLDOG NAMED TODD

There was a bulldog named Todd,
He drove a bright green hot rod,
Todd drove it too fast,
Left the road when he passed,
Now Todd has a broken up bod.

Todd the bulldog liked his candy,
He would keep his candy handy,
He buried it deep,
Where it would keep,
But, it was gritty and sandy.

A GREEN FROG NAMED TOOTIE Limericks

Tootie is a big green frog,
She eats pizza like a hog,
She tops it with flies ,
With a side of fries,
She's heavy and sinks like a log.

There was a green frog named Tootie,
She thought eating was her duty,
She ate pastries and flies,
Hamburgers and French fries,
She was ate by a snake named Hootie.

Tootie was a frog that lived outside,
She didn't clean up or take any pride,
She was covered with mud,
Toads called her a dud,
She would not change instead, she would hide.

A TREE TOAD LIMERICK

A tree toad ate whole apples all day,
He would then spit the seeds far away,
One time he hit a chicken,
He then got a good lick-en,
Now he swallows the seeds to obey.

RUTH THE TOOTHLESS AND SMELLY BEAVER

There once was a beaver named Ruth,
She did not have even one tooth,
With a sharp ax and a breeze,
She knocked down the trees,
She was fastest and that's the truth.

Ruth the beaver was so full of bad gas,
Everyone ran when she started to pass,
You couldn't help to think,
She made a big stink,
Then, she laughed showing she had no class.

THE BALLAD OF BUGSY LEE

Bugsy Lee liked to drive too fast,
His car slid off the road,
He hit a tree and skinned his knee,
And, scared away a toad.

Bugsy got a real big fine,
He ended up in court,
His big fine he could not pay,
He owed too much child support.

When Bugsy Lee ended up in jail,
He realized he couldn't win,
He spent his life as he willed,
So, all he did was sin.

In jail Bugsy met a guy named Stan,
He was Bugsy's only friend,
They talked a lot about their past,
Bugsy got it in the end.

THERE WAS A GOLDFISH NAMED DREW

There was a nice goldfish named Drew,
But, instead of gold he was blue,
Blue made him feel sad,
But, he shouldn't feel bad,
A blue goldfish was just something new.

THE SAD LIFE OF CLYDE THE CARP-Limerick

Clyde was a brown carp who laid in the mud,
He'd eat fish food or just floating crud,
He couldn't find a wife,
He was single for life,
'cause the lady carp called Clyde a dud.

There once was a carp named Clyde,
He laid all one day on his side,
He would not eat his fish food,
Which seemed really rude,
Then, someone realized Clyde had died.

BOBBY THE WOLF

Bobby the wolf has one good eye,
No one knows because he is sly,
He stays leader of the pack,
But, when the bears attack,
He doesn't see them, so all wolves die.


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THERE WAS A MOUSE NAMED LARRY? Limerick

There was a mouse named Larry,
His tail was wide and hairy,
He chased it around,
And, guess what he found,
He was really a squirrel named Mary.

A SWAN NAMED SANDY

There once was a big swam named Sandy.
She liked drinking apricot brandy,
She went out on the bay,
Drank her brandy all day,
Then, slept where she found it was handy.

I WAS WITH A GIRL NAMED IZZY

I was in love with a girl named Izzy,
When I asked her out she was real busy,
I thought I had tarried,
Because Izzy got married,
But, maybe Izzy was just really dizzy.

A BAD MAN NAMED ROY

A witch cursed a bad man named Roy,
She turned him into a float toy,
He was a toy boat,
But, he could not float,
He was sank by a bad little boy.

A PIG NAMED MORTIE

There was a very big pig named Mortie,
He was depressed because he turned forty,
He ate cottage cheese and cheddar,
The cheese made Mortie feel better,
But, the cheese made his skin all warty.

Mortie was an unhappy pig,
His head was small and his belly big,
He tried to loose weight,
But, fat was his fate,
So, he made his head large with a wig.

A FLEA NAMED NORMAN Limerick

There once was a small flea named Norman,
He worked construction as a foreman,
He mixed up cement,
It made him content,
It was better than being a doorman.

A flea named Norman was full of pride,
He poured concrete until he died,
He built bridges real long,
And buildings real strong,
He looks on from the other side.

I BOUGHT A TOYOTA CAR

I bought a Toyota Car,
I thought I would really go far,
I slammed on the brakes,
Found out they were fakes,
They scraped me up off of the tar.