WHEN THE MARKETS SINK DOWN, I AM SAD

I went online to check on my investments in the stocks,

Instead of investing, I should have just watched the Tic Toks, 

My whole portfolio sank down,

Going underwater, to drown,

I would have sold earlier today, if I watched the clocks.

WEIRD-WOLF OF DETROIT

I'm accused of not being sensitive, not sensitive at all,

I make people uncomfortable, just by strolling through a mall,

I never comb my hair, 

Stink like a forest bear,

There's times I'll just squat down howling, thus doing my werewolf call.

SANTA HAS LABOR ISSUES

Santa isn't using reindeer to pull his sleigh, this year,

Instead, he's hired unicorns, they're cheap, they'll work for beer,

The reindeer have gone on strike,

Want more breaks, and a pay hike,

The elves won't cross the picket lines, and Christmas Eve is near.