PEOPLE WANT MY RUTABAGA

I trade rutabaga at my vegetable stand,

I barter for butter and real milk that is canned,

Sometimes I get cheese,

On pie it's the bees knees,

I trade rutabaga for coffee, if it's the right brand. 

EATING RAW FUNGI AND CAPITAL GAINS

I ate raw fungi and it ate my brains,

I no longer functioned and felt aches and pains,

I bottled the stuff,

Claimed it made people look buff,

Sold my business to Wall Street for capital gains.

MY GROCER, HIGH PRICES AND ME

I went to the grocer but his prices were high,
I said with my small budget those prices wouldn't fly,
The grocer said, "my costs have gone wild,
I built a new mansion that's styled,
My builder gave me a similar reply."